October First, Elise Rose hit us with this emotional piece. Please take a moment to read her words, and leave her messages in the comments. She misses everyone who walks through the doors of crown, and we miss seeing her face in there every day.
“As most of you know today not only marks the beginning of my favorite month, but it’s also the start of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and the month I found out I had cancer. Everyday this month, I want to share an experience, a moment, something I’m thankful for, or even some fears that I have.
Today I want to share how thankful I am for my family at Crown Buffalo. The night I had to go to the hospital for the pain I was experiencing, Marissa was there within 15 minutes. We waited and waited and waited some more, and I remember telling her to go home, that we had work the next day- and she wouldn’t leave my side, not even for a second. The ER doctor had then shared she was 90 percent positive I had cancer. I latched onto the wall and just put my head down and cried for a solid 20 minutes. Marissa asked no questions, but she was just so comforting in that moment. The next day after finding out from the oncologist that in fact this is stage 4 metastatic breast cancer, I immediately texted all of Crown and asked if I could have a meeting that morning. I remember walking in and for the first time ever, I could barely make eye contact with any of them. Slowly I started to speak, and I can’t even tell you what I said, but I remember locking eyes and seeing how unbelievably broken every last one of them were. I specifically couldn’t make contact with Grace, because I knew I would break, and in fact that’s exactly what happened.
When I tell you that each of them responded in the most truest of ways and told me I was never going to be alone. Because of Erin, Grace, Chelsey, Sarah, Tommy, Marissa, Katie, Karen, Cara, Audrey, Stephen, and of course Bogan- I have never felt alone. These people have given me their own hard-earned money, have found so many ways to donate, have constantly been there for me in SO many ways, have offered to take me to appointments, and have spent time with me all throughout this last year. When they move forward in their lives, I don’t feel left behind, I feel beside them. I’m the luckiest when it comes to this amazing group of people. I have Erin, the most selfless boss who would do anything for anyone she loves. I can’t tell you how patient she was with me the month prior to me finding out. I was missing work due to being in pain, and she never questioned me or made me feel like I had to be there. She has found ways to help me when In fact she doesn’t even pay herself. I have Grace who has always kept it real with me, and when I walk into the room we can just laugh over nothing. I can have some really deep conversations with her and I know that they aren’t going anywhere other than her. I have Chelsey who continues to check on me, really understands my disease, and makes sure that my spirits are up. She has been a true advocate for me during all of this. I have Sarah who is not only my dancing partner, but would do whatever it takes just to put a smile on my face and understands me in a way I feel most don’t. Then I have Tommy - when the news broke he called me crying and told me easily 15 times how much he loved me and I love how true and raw of a person he is, not to mention any merch or even his own shirts I love of his he has given me, just to put a smile on my face. Next up is Marissa, she was there. She witnessed me finding out the most devastating news and she stood as strong as a rock for me and for that I will forever be thankful not to mention when I need her she is there no questions asked. Next up is Katie, she loves to give back, and she has so many times. My blue and pink bracelet is still one of my favorite things to wear, and she continues to check in, and of course always checks in on her boy Wylie! When I talk about Karen, I immediately smile. Karen and I were just starting to become very close friends right when I got diagnosed, and she is the epitome of what a great friend is. I get weekly check-ins, she always asks to visit when I’m up for it, and constantly offers up any help I may need. Cara is someone you want around when you just want that big wholesome hug, and let me tell you they feel great! Most of our conversations are about our animals, but I love that because it makes me forget that I’m sick. Audrey, I just appreciate so much. We got close at Bonnaroo, and she makes me belly laugh until it hurts. She has a love for Taco Bell like me, and always makes you look your best even when you don’t feel your best. She will answer her phone at anytime for me, even if it’s just a simple makeup question. I love that she learned to twerk and I look forward to the videos she sends me periodically! Stephen was hired 2 days prior to me finding out I was sick. He was thrown right into the mix : Having to handle chaos, being short staffed, and having an entire crew that just found out about me. He has handled himself amazingly, and I think he is the perfect fit for Crown. Bogan, Bogan, Bogan the kid who puts a smile on my face, the reason for Wylie’s existence, the one who can make me laugh and cry at the same time. He has been my savior so many times. I don’t know what I would do without that kid.
This is what family is. We never leave each other behind, we are true to ourselves and to one another, and even more than that we are understanding. I love each and everyone of them separately and even more together. I think together we are better. I don’t know what tomorrow brings, but I’m thankful for today and to have all of you by my side.”
